“Searching for Sunshine in all the wrong places”

sand of hearts

Hey guys, my name is Ana I am Maria’s twin sister. I want to incorporate to this blog a personal touch and by that I mean sharing personal stories about my life that can hopefully help you in whatever way it may be. I am 24 years old and as I type my age I am asking myself why do I feel the necessity to tell you how old am I? Well it’s to remind myself that I am still young and to not let go of all hope yet to find what it is that I am searching for. When I was a lot younger I envisioned myself married and at least with my first child at this age. I thought that around 18 I would find a boyfriend that would turn into eventually my fiance and that around  23 we would have gotten married. Maybe I saw Cinderella a little too many times and became  fixated on looking for my Prince Charming. But reality gives you a hard smack in the face and throws you  arctic water to let you know those are just fairy tales. We have advanced so much in Technology,Science, and Medicine. But somehow personal relationships have taken the back burner to the max. And I just don’t see it in young couples, I see it in marriages that have been together 20 years plus just completely disintegrate into divorce. Now I can say that after 5 years of being out there in the circus that is the dating world I have been able to meet genuine, sincere, sweet guys. Unfortunately, there hasn’t been the “chemistry” spark with any of them that I have been yearning to find for all these years. I have tried really hard to give it a chance and hope that eventually I will be into them but I believe that every feeling you experience should always be sincere and honest. And if I am not honest to myself then how could I even dare look at anyone else in the eye? The irony in all of this is that I have felt that spark or zap except it has always been with the “wrong guys”.  And we all know how this story ends; good girl falls in love with jerk and gets her heart-broken and then asks “Where are all the good guys”? Except this story is a bit different because I am fully aware that I have always fallen for the wrong guys and need to put an end to it once and for all. I don’t feel discouraged or hopeless because I know that love is something you should never give up on finding. But coming to the realization that I have been trying to search for my “sunshine” in all the wrong  places. I have ultimately forced myself to be my own sunshine and come to the conclusion that no one else is going to light up my world exactly how I want it to be lit. I can just hope that one

day I can  find a person who just  wants to make my sun…. shine….brighter.

Xoxo, Anita

 

 

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